As is often the way with these things (I guess), it’s much easier to keep quiet when you’re not feeling too well, and wait to get better before you talk about it. Ah well. (That’s my way of apologising for not writing anything this week yet, by the way).
But since I’m nearly feeling pretty-decent-really again, let’s talk about life, shall we?
I was in hospital from Monday morning till Wednesday afternoon (ie. a lot of lying in bed, but when you look at people who’ll lie there for weeks, you’re not so grumpy about it). The operation seemingly went very well, and everyone seemed a bit surprised that I wasn’t really in any pain – they give you a self-activated morphine drip (not recommended for those of weak character ;), but I only used it when I was waking up from the anaesthetic, thank God.
At the time (especially on Monday & Tuesday), I was feeling very very prayed for – like my internal atmosphere was just wonderfully uncloudy, y’know? So thank you if that was you! It does make you wonder what’s going on when God seems quite happy to answer prayers in order that I don’t need to fill my body with opiates, but He doesn’t seem to want to just go ahead and heal my bones (and I have given Him permission, lots of times 😉
I was wondering out loud to a friend of mine about this a couple of days ago; how I can’t predict God at all, and sometimes that’s honestly the most annoying thing ever. But at other times I realise that one of the things that I love most about Him is His unpredictability: I can’t know what He is or isn’t going to do, but I can know Him, and that’s the kind of weirdness that I find really attractive! Know what I mean?
So yeah, since getting out of hospital I’ve been very up-and-down (what I call ‘fragile’ or ‘tender’), but actually doing life pretty well in spite of not feeling like I want to. I absolutely flipping HATE slings (having been wearing one for nearly 2 months now), I’ve been getting headaches all the time, not sleeping, getting worn out superquick, wanting to have a bath or a shower and not being able to, and all the other things that you might expect to come up when you’re ‘getting better‘. A friend of mine is staying with us at the moment, and I can’t tell you how much of a difference it makes to have someone around to go through it all with, and to get sharpened by. I’m so so very grateful not to be on my own.