[Quotations from the great GK, helpfully arranged into categories to make it easier.]
If I had only one sermon to preach it would be a sermon against pride.
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.
I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.
Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
No man who worships education has got the best out of education… Without a gentle contempt for education no man's education is complete.
There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.
The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.
Man is an exception, whatever else he is. If he is not the image of God, then he is a disease of the dust. If it is not true that a divine being fell, then we can only say that one of the animals went entirely off its head.
Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.
Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about the things in my pocket. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past.
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.