Just discovered this today: here. Listen to the audio files on the left. Amazing amazing amazing – I love humans! Feels like this guy becomes the Mighty Boosh in his sleep – God bless his girlfriend for sharing it all with us. Here are some examples:
"I've got a really terrible terrible feeling about this custard tart. Terrible."
"Oompa loompas don't sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds."
"Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun."
"Look. Look at my left foot. Look at my left foot. Smack you in the face!"
"Enough with the cheese. Enough!"
"You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."
"Can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you!"
"The plumbing doesn't help with the cucumbers anymore."
"I love the fact you're a moose. Yes. So soft, so soft."
"Oh, we're going to be late for the pogo ballet, stop it!"
"Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew."
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"Big pig. Massive oink. Little curly tail."
"Look at the size of your bath. I can pee in it and you'd never notice."
"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"
"Butter… nut… squash. I like those words."
"Yah, I can't believe in God when I'm THIS good."
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid & boring. Bad panda!"
"Robots making sweets? But they've got no taste buds! Metal smarties."
"Awesome. Teddy bears bungie jumping."
"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for…. done for."
"Vegetarians will be the first to go. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy…' Bollocks!"
"This fish has got big floppy lips. Fishy kissy fishy kissy. Oops, took one on the mouth! Not nice."
"Give me back my hands! Limb thief!"
"I demand compensation in cola bottles. Lots of fizzy cola bottles. In one lump sum."