Stresses & Strains (& trying to look past them)

Me & she 

An update on what we're doing these days:

Having had to abandon our health-giving, strength-building, tan-strengthening month working on farms in France (due to health issues and fallen trees), Maria and I are now at my parents' house in Devon, spending every available moment doing the things that freak me out the most – job applications, form-filling, house-hunting etc. – in order that we can move to Cornwall in the next few weeks.

Partly I hate this stuff because I'm not administratively-minded, but mainly it's because rejection stalks you at every turn, and there is virtually nothing you can do to protect yourself.  You know you're going to get turned down (by people who have no interest whatsoever in cushioning the blow) 9 times out of 10, at the least, and all the while I'm being gnawed away internally at our lack of a home, lack of a reliable income, and lack of a community in which to belong, seven months after getting married.

*makes noise like an angry goat*

And all the while the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the gardens are looking gorgeous, and we have some of the best family and friends in the history of the known world, if only we could tear ourselves away from our anxieties and illnesses long enough to notice.

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