Things I Heard Today

Girl 1 [dragging friend round Boots]:  I just need something to make my lips go all fat.
Girl 2:  A punch?

Old Lady:  Oh look, there's the opticians!
Husband:  Where?

Alan Bennett's got nothing on me.

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Presiding Over Easter

We all live in the hustle and bustle of our work… And I admit that my plate has been full as well. (Laughter.) The inbox keeps on accumulating. (Laughter.)

Obama_prayer
But then comes Holy Week. The triumph of Palm Sunday. The humility of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. His slow march up that hill, and the pain and the scorn and the shame of the cross.

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And we’re reminded that in that moment, he took on the sins of the world – past, present and future – and he extended to us that unfathomable gift of grace and salvation through his death and resurrection.

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In the words of the book Isaiah: ‘But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.’

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This magnificent grace, this expansive grace, this ‘Amazing Grace’ calls me to reflect. And it calls me to pray. It calls me to ask God for forgiveness for the times that I’ve not shown grace to others, those times that I’ve fallen short. It calls me to praise God for the gift of the son — his Son and our Saviour.

President Obama, April 19, 2011

16

what people on Twitter have been giving up for Lent this year

Lent2011
[Click for a larger image]

As you can see, it's an interesting snapshot of (western) humanity.  Apparently, more people are sacrificially giving up 'Religion' and 'Church' than they did last year, whilst 'Jesus', 'Christianity' and 'God' are not being fasted quite so much.  There's probably an interesting point in there somewhere.

Anyway, here is the Top 100 list (inc numbers and ranking change from last year):

1. Twitter 4297 0
2. Facebook 4060 0
3. Chocolate 3185 0
4. Swearing 2527 +1
5. Alcohol 2347 -1
6. Sex 2093 +3
7. Soda 1959 -1
8. Lent 1493 -1
9. Meat 1352 -1
10. Fast food 1303 0
11. Sweets 1252 0
12. Giving up things 778 +7
13. School 768 +27
14. Religion 745 +1
15. Coffee 707 -3
16. You 675 +6
17. Social networking 665 +15
18. Chips 664 +3
19. Junk food 594 -1
20. Bread 571 +6
21. Smoking 555 -4
22. Candy 541 -8
23. Charlie Sheen 511  NEW
24. Work 482 +4
25. Stuff 467 -2
26. Catholicism 436 -10
27. Food 395 +3
28. Shopping 363 +1
29. Marijuana 358 +31
30. Beer 346 -10
31. Fried food 307 -7
32. Homework 306 +27
33. Cheese 297 +4
34. Cookies 293 +11
35. Red meat 285 -10
36. Masturbation 285 +8
37. Virginity 253 +26
38. Pancakes 252 +20
39. Rice 236 -5
40. Booze 235 +2
41. Coke 234 -3
42. Boys 229 +24
43. Sugar 229 -16
44. Sobriety 226 +10
45. Procrastination 226 -10
46. Nothing 219 +21
47. Winning 219  NEW
48. Ice cream 211 -7
49. Caffeine 203 -16
50. McDonald’s 195 +27
51. Church 188 +28
52. Wine 188 -3
53. TV 184 -7
54. Starbucks 183 -15
55. Texting 182 -12
56. Liquor 181 -1
57. Negativity 180 +26
58. Carbs 179 +10
59. Christianity 177 -12
60. Justin Bieber 176 +9
61. Pizza 175 -11
62. French fries 159 +2
63. Me 157 +9
64. Losing 155  NEW
65. Men 152 -13
66. Fizzy drinks 151  NEW
67. Porn 147 +4
68. Lint 147 -11
69. Trophies 144  NEW
70. Tumblr 144  NEW
71. Desserts 142 -15
72. Chicken 140 +15
73. Pork 139 -3
74. Cake 132 +8
75. Tea 127 +19
76. Sarcasm 127 +14
77. Diet Coke 119 -16
78. Laziness 118 -13
79. Sleep 117 -6
80. Jesus 115 -4
81. College 111  NEW
82. Internet 110 -46
83. Complaining 108 -9
84. Breathing 103  NEW
85. Takeout 98  NEW
86. Beef 98 -8
87. People 96 +11
88. New Year’s resolutions 96 +1
89. Him 94 -5
90. Tiger blood 92  NEW
91. Makeup 91  NEW
92. Juice 90 -7
93. Clothes 89  NEW
94. My phone 88  NEW
95. God 87 -15
96. Abstinence 85 -15
97. Stress 84  NEW
98. Chipotle 82  NEW
99. Myspace 81 -48
100. Eating out 81 -25